Today was one of those days that I was reminded why I adore my son and his sensitive nature so much. People like to assume that children with special needs are different and well they would be right – they are super power packages with senses we will never understand.
As a parent of a super hero your job is to become aware of shifts in the atmosphere, smells, sounds or surroundings. Also you need to know when to push and encourage and when to back off. One of the most common threads that I have heard over the years with similar kids is that they don’t tolerate change of any kind or doing anything different.
First of all no two children are alike and secondly I will disagree. I have screwed up 2000+ times and will no doubt add to that but I made a deal with myself and my son to try if I offered protection (by me being there) and honesty about what he was going to try and choice (so he could say more or no thanks) and lastly respect (means I adhere to his request)
Let’s give a small example: food 🥘 this has been a hot topic in my house forever as my son is so adverse to way foods smell or texture that it will literally make or ruin his whole day. If he finds a spaghetti sauce he likes he will request that one always. He will rate every high end steak house according to the taste and smell of their cheeses 🧀 it is quite fascinating. One of his favorite all time foods is French onion soup and he only accept the best.
Getting Kids with any sensory awareness to try new foods is like mission impossible. I started offered my son 1-2 pieces of food that was outside his norm and simply asking him to “try it” I promised that if he did not like it he would not have to eat more. I have followed through on my promise so now even if it smells yucky or looks terrible he will always try at least a bit and surprise surprise has slowly added to his palate because of this.
I am by nature a dare devil and love experiences and doing new stuff on the fly. I will say, hey M let’s try XXXXX. He will say “no it looks scary” and then I will have to ease his mechanical mind with the nuts and bolts of how it works so he will go. Think boating, parasailing, kayaking, jet ski and other fabulous adventures. I am proud to say that he has tried all of that and way more and although a few he has said never again I know he tries it because he knows I will respect his concerns. You see a ASD child’s intelligence far exceeds most people. They see far more than you can see in seconds. Specially all that can go wrong and the pit falls -safety is always their concern so you have to show them and be there next to them to dispel a little of that.
All this to sum up today- we went to the movies which in itself is an issue because he would much prefer to watch movies at home but he went anyway for mom. Today we made in about 5 feet into the theater, popcorn in hand and he said “mom we need to go outside that music makes me scared and sad” and he ran outside. I went with him and waited till all the “sad music” had finished and then we tried again about 10 minutes later. What he couldn’t articulate is that the music did make him sad but it made him anxious and scared because it was a build up aggressive attack preview for some new kids comic.
So listen to your kids ASD or neurologically normal sometimes when they say certain things or react in odd ways they may not be able to articulate the write verbiage but they need you to be their safety.
MAM 